From the moment I saw Miss Blinkin at a 2010 holiday party, I knew she was the one. There was something special about those Christmas ornament earrings that stole my attention and has kept it for the last year.
So after a year and a half in Heaven, I decided it was time. Time to profess my love with a commitment like no other. As Ryan stated before he was booted from The Bachelorette, “I’m ready for my trophy wife.”
There were steps that I needed to follow for this engagement to be a success. As a (fairly) traditional guy, the first step would be to ask her father for his blessing. If I am Mr. Blinkin, we’ll call him Mr. Washington.
Let me tell you how I envisioned it.
Mr. Washington is an avid fisherman. I pictured a long-weekend fishing trip, just the two of us. We would share stories, I would tell him how lucky I am to be with his daughter, and most importantly I would catch a fish. I dreamed of a marlin-sized mackerel meeting the wrath of my rod. I knew that if Mr. Washington witnessed me catching a fish, he would instantly approve me marrying his daughter. For some reason, this made sense to me.
Now let me tell you how it actually happened.
We were in the Washington’s hometown to celebrate George and Martha’s 40th Anniversary. I knew this was going to be the weekend, otherwise I would have to wait a few more months (assuming texting is out of the question).
It seems like a simple task to ask one person one question but I’ll be the first to tell you that it’s not – especially when the house you’re entering resembles a scene from Home Alone. Kids karate-ing and babies bouncing isn’t the best backdrop for such a serious question. So the entire weekend, I watched Mr. Washington’s every move. There was rarely a second where he was alone. I even woke up between 5-6am because I knew he would be the only family member awake. That plan was quickly halted when Baby Hoover started bawling.
I Give Up
Before I knew it, the weekend was nearly over. Our flight would immediately follow our meal, so it was “now or never.” I was sweating bullets throughout the entire brunch. When I wasn’t swallowing waffles and water, I was stalking Mr. Washington.
“Where’d he go?” I would asked. “Maybe the bathroom is an inappropriate place.”
Can You Pass Me The Blessing?
Here it is. The opening I’ve been waiting for. Mr. Washington disappears into the buffet room to load up on dessert and I closely follow behind. But just as I approach, what looks like a long-lost friend comes up to give him a massive bear hug.
I perform a LeBron James-type spin move and find myself facing the dessert bar. The last thing I want to do is take my eyes off of Mr. Washington fearing that I will lose my only opportunity. I decided to keep a close eye on Mr. Washington but also load my hands up with gummy bears – you know, to look inconspicuous. By the time Mr. Washington finally freed himself, I had approximately 70 gummy bears in my hand. I nervously threw one in my mouth after another. At this point, who cares? This is the moment I’ve been waiting for.
– “Can we go for a quick walk?”
“Sure, do you want me to grab anyone else?”
– “No, no. Just you.”
Without disclosing the entire conversation, I’ll tell you it went very well. He’s an amazing man and made it very easy for me. But I will share one last hilarious moment with you all.
As he was driving us to the airport, Mr. Washington turns to Miss Blinkin and says…
“Umm, for what?”
– “I just love you a lot.”
Needless to say, we’re all excited 🙂